Today I’m thinking about control—how little we have, what little we can have. I’m thinking about the next four years in the U.S., whether or not I should start posting on Substack or create a Blue Sky account (I did!), my next therapy appointment and each one after that and how I’m going to get up by 9 a.m. every Monday morning when all I want to do is hibernate.

I’m thinking about playing Stardew, David Lynch, how much I want to adopt a cat, how unsure my partner is that he’ll ever want another pet again (after Jesse). I’m wondering if I’m eating too much chocolate, if we’ll find a house by spring, what a reasonable time between tattoos is, if I’m killing Carlos’s plant while he’s away (I almost did).

I’m thinking about 2025 as the year of the witch and the pull up. How winter calls for rest and naps and reading in bed. I’m thinking soon summer, soon cat-sitting for my neighbor, soon therapy, soon self-love and confidence, soon breakfast, soon upper body day, soon my partner comes home.

I’m focusing on what I can control and letting go of what I can’t (or trying to).

Free Palestine.

With love,

Kait Quinn